Table Talk

No Responsibility

2009-03-06T05:13:00.003-05:00

Over and over you hear, "I tried everything and it just didn't work out," when it comes to dealing with their marriage. What they are really saying is, "I did everything 'I Thought to do." Rarely do they mean they prayed and asked for direction. They usually haven't really talked to their spouse about the situation. Many just want a way out. Most often, the way out is as simple as making an effort to give the spouse what they want and need, or following the mandates of the vows they took when they married.

We have to stop thinking we know it all. We must learn to give what we want to get.

God's Will

2009-01-07T08:34:00.002-05:00

So many claim to have prayed for God's will before they divorced their spouse. When you dig a little deeper, it is not hard to see that nine times out of ten, God didn't will the divorce, they did.

It is so easy to fool ourselves into believing we are asking God for help, when in fact, we are asking God to go along with what we know is not right in the first place.

What makes it all so unbearable is to know the feverish rush many couples are in to get married. All the money they are willing to pay for one day, then within a few years they are ready to throw it all away.

Outside of being physically abused, God is not going to tell you to leave your spouse. He has too much invested in your staying together.

Peace

No Throw Away People

2009-01-06T06:19:00.002-05:00

Oftentimes we allow ourselves to become so despondent over what another has done to us, we decided that the best thing to do is just rid them from our lives. If you didn't know, let me be the first to tell you; there are no throw away people.

All of us have value. It is those of us who do not recognize our value, or the value of others that come to the conclusion that it is easy to dismiss another's humanity.

I submit it is our obligation to always look for the best, hope for the best, and wish the best for others, especially those who hurt us. Hurt people hurt people. This is how it is, but that does not mean they do not deserve to be alive or acknowledged.

I am not saying you have to deal with those who hurt you, but to think ill of them, wish them harm, or act as though they do not exist, will not make you a better person. As a matter of fact, with each negative thought you diminish your opportunity to rise above any infraction they may have performed.

They next time someone hurts you remember they must really be in a bad place to be so cruel. Pray for them and leave the pain with them.

Peace

Every Time

2009-01-04T05:31:00.002-05:00

Every time you ask our Creator for what you want you are doing exactly what is needed to get it.
You have not because you do not ask. Simply ask and believe you have already received it, wait, and watch it all unfold; right before your eyes.

Asking God for what you want. Just make sure what you want is what you are asking for. Know the difference. It makes all the difference in the world.

Know you!

Peace

A New Leaf

2008-12-30T07:44:00.001-05:00

It is most definitely time to recommitt to all your committments. Especially your marriage. Starting over is great at anytime. It gives us renewed spirit and actually refreshes our memory of our goals, wants, needs, and desires for our marriages.

Do it!

Peace

A New Thing

2008-12-03T03:56:00.004-05:00

There is a new thing going in my marriage. It is amazing what it takes for some of us to recognize how important others are to us. My husband and I have found a new appreciation for each other. Doing so has rekindled many feelings of love and understanding.

Invite a new concept into your marriage life. Create a date night, spend time holding each other, hug more, talk more, give more, accept more, love more.

Do a new thing.

Peace

Talking to Young People

2008-12-01T23:52:00.004-05:00

I was talking to two young adults the other day about relationships. They seem to be under the impression that it is only "young" people who don't want to make a committment. It is strange how people think age really does make a difference in how people live their lives. What matters to people is what matters to them personally. Outside of that, most people don't want to put forth any more effort than necessary to live the lives they proclaim they desire.

People, young or old, are just not willing to stay the course anymore. It doesn't matter what age. Folk are not committed, even when they make committments.

Peace

Making a Difference

2008-11-28T05:44:00.003-05:00

It really doesn't take much to make a difference in this world. Usually it only takes a willingness to be useful. If you are feeling lonely and alone, give yourself the permission to care for and give to others. Most often what we feel we are missing, is in direction porportion to what we need to give.

Move outside yourself. Learn to love, let others live their lives and be free.

Peace

Thankfulness

2008-11-26T07:27:00.002-05:00

Oh, how hard it is for us to be thankful. We can rarely muster a "thank you." There is no wonder that so many find it hard to be thankful. If you are alive, you should be thankful.

Plain and simple!

All it takes is life to live. Live your life.

Peace

More and More

2008-11-25T04:36:00.002-05:00

More and more I find people have become whinners. They only want to give when it is of benefit to them, but are ready to take at any given moment. Instead of wanting more and more, we need to learn to do with less and less.

Needing, wanting, and desiring less is the answer to many of our problems. Giving more is the best way to feel satisfied because it allows you to come out of yourself each time you give to another.

Let us practice giving more and more by learning to take less and less.

Peace

Amazing!

2008-11-24T08:49:00.002-05:00

The thing that is so wonderfully amazing about relationships is that they are fluid. They are never out of flux. We must remember that when we find ourselves wanting things to be "the way they were." It is not realistic to expect relationships to change when that's all that people do on a consistent basis--change.

Change is an inevitable part of the growth process. Although seemingly the hardest thing to do, change often comes easy once acceptance is partnered with it. It is easy to change when we accept that change is a part of being a human being. We are not solely driven by our instincts. We can make choices and make the decision to stick with or abandon any choice we may make.

Choosing to stick with the choices we make is what the book Get Out of the Way! Claim God's Will for Your Marriage, is all about. Staying married is important and vital to America's existence. Everything in America is geared toward the family unit. The subsequent breakdown of moral obligation has left the family in a bad situation. The financial crisis we are now experiencing is a direct result of people not sticking to their committments.

We must continue to be amazed by our ability to change and allow amazing things to happen when we do.

Peace

Understanding Is Mellow

2008-11-23T12:34:00.002-05:00

The time has come in my life that I have had to accept some simple truths. By doing so, I have relieved myself of the duty of taking care of everyone else. I now take care of me first and I have found I need little to make it through the day, except understanding. Whether it is understanding myself, being understood, or understanding others; I have grasped the concept of "To Thineself be true."

Learning to Live and Let Live

2008-11-21T15:48:00.002-05:00

I completely understand how people can become control freaks. Yes, I said it. Control freaks. There are women and men who because of their level of responsibility, or sense of their level of responsibility, who feel completely okay with attempting to tell others how they should live their lives. They actually feel they know what is better for others. These people tend to have lots of people around them because most likely they are taking care of, or enabling those they come into contact with.

We must learn to live and let live. We must find a way to give those around us what they need not what we think they need. We all can walk in the light. We must be happy for others and let them make the choices that will shape their destiny just as we must do for ourselves.

Peace

Second Time Around

2008-11-20T06:11:00.000-05:00

There is an interesting truth. Many divorced men have been quoted to say that their first wife was the best wife. Isn't it funny that they couldn't recognize that when they were with them? More and more people are waking up to the reality that divorce just may not be the only solution to marital problems.

I can't tell you how many divorced people have told me that they wish they had stayed married and tried harder. This is what we need to do. Stay married and try harder.

Peace

Fight to Become Friends

2008-11-18T05:26:00.000-05:00

Marriage is not for the fant of heart. You must be willing to go into the ring time and time again fighting to become better friends. Unfortunately, when most married people fight, they use the opportunity to stack another reason to hate the person, or to think of getting a divorce.

In all actuality, when couples are in a disagreement it opens up an opportunity for them to learn what the other needs. If we want to be closer to our mate, we must be more willing to do things that will please them. Oftentimes, we're looking more towards our needs and have little desire to reach out to our loved one.

If we must fight, we must know that fighting is not the worse thing, if we really care about the other person and pay attention to what is upsetting them, we very well may be able to learn what we need to do to help desolve some of the chaos that causes us to fight in the first place.

Michelle Obama Did It!

2008-11-17T06:52:00.000-05:00

Like so many women who marry, Michelle Obama wanted the fairytale. She was fortunate to come from a two parent home. Her father was home every night for dinner. After marrying Barack, she became despondent when Barack decided to run for office and was never home. She was wanting what she grew up with, which was fine for her father, but she was married to a man with greater vision. She admitted that she had thought of leaving him, but decided to look at the bigger picture and stayed. She did what my company's latest series of books encourages all married couples to do and that is Get Out of the Way! Claim God's Will for Your Marriage.

Just think how sick she would be now had she not figured out that what was happening in her marriage was for the greater good? Hillary Clinton was faced with similar choices. Being married to a man like Bill should have sent her directly to the divorce court, but she too was able to Get Out of the Way! Claim God's Will for Your Marriage.

No one is saying it, but the financial crisis we are currently in has a lot to do with the high rate of failed marriages that hit the middle class. People hit hard times and instead of staying for "better or for worse, richer or poorer," we run to the judge, instead turning to God for the answers we seek.

It is beyond time for married couples to stop leaning on their own understanding and seek the will of God for their marriage so that we may fulfill God's desire for healthy, stable relationships and families.